A Balancing Act
For a while now I’ve been feeling a little lost regarding the direction I want to take with my blog and actually my whole life in general. Luckily a few weeks ago I found this really interesting book about the philosophy of fashion. The book was written a hundred years ago but the ideas and theories introduced in it still hold their ground today.
One chapter talked about an idea that people have a constant battle between contradicting thoughts going on in their mind. I played around with the concept for a while and realized how true it really is that everyday we are faced with the conflict between our inate needs and fears and our ever-changing wants and aspirations. Like for example the need to belong versus the want to stand out and be different.
For some reason I have been hoping (or rather assuming) that once I find my gift and my passion, moving forward in life would become more simple and straightforward. After I finished the book and stopped to think about the arguments presented in it I realized that life will never become easier or less complicated and that the battles in my mind are neverending. I will always have the burning desire to experience new things and take risks but also the paralyzing fear of making irreversible mistakes. I will always feel the need to be in perfect control over situations but also the want to be surprised by what life has to offer. And I will probably never stop sacrifising time I would like to spend alone because I’m afraid of missing out on something.
Daily life will continue to be the balancing act between short-term pleasures like eating good food while watching Netflix in my pyjamas all day and long-term happiness that takes time, effort, focus and dedication to achieve.
But however draining it may be at times I will always choose these battles over not feeling anything at all - and that is ultimately what will make my life the perfect combination of losing myself and finding myself at the same time.