Last weekend brought back something my grandad once told me when we were talking about traveling: ”a wise person doesn’t need to travel the world in order to know where home is.”
I realized that what he meant was that nobody has the time to experience every single thing and place in the world - and that a wise person doesn’t even have the need to do so, because they can narrow down the possibilities they’re given and by doing so, reduce the risk of wasting their precious time on things they don't enjoy.
Our trip to St. Petersburg really got me questioning my own attitude towards traveling in general. During the weekend I went through a lot of negative feelings and I realized or rather came to accept the notion that I’m not good at traveling. Traveling combines many of the things I absolutely hate in life like having to wait, being out of control in situations, having to be in cramped and uncomfortable places and not sleeping in my own bed. I love to visit places that leave me speechless and see things I haven’t seen before but sometimes it’s also very draining - this weekend was one of those times. A huge thank you goes to the group of people I traveled with for being so supportive and understanding.
I’m sure some of you reading this are thinking something along the lines of ”experiencing new and sometimes uncomfortable things makes you grow as a person - who wouldn’t want that?” and of course I agree that traveling does broaden your mind - no doubt about it. It’s just that I am so particular with my own routines and how I like things done that it’s difficult for me to relax and enjoy myself in an environment that feels very unfamiliar or unsafe. That’s why I already know that for example backpacking in Asia or interrailing through Europe wouldn’t be something I would personally enjoy. The fact is that even though some things sound super exciting and cool on paper, they are not for everyone and admitting to that doesn’t make you a boring or unadventurous person.
For me traveling has only ever served one real purpose: it is a way of finding a place that feels more like home than my actual home - a place where I feel safe and comfortable. And because I only have a limited amount of time and money, I have to be smart with my spending and really start acknowledging the things I’ve learned on my trips so far. From now on, I want to spend my energy, time and money on finding places where my soul can rest and building a life, from which I don’t even need a vacation from.